• Reclaiming your Feminine Energy!

    (Originally Published On Opulence in the Divine)

    *Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Abuse, Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault, and Bullying* 

    *I am not a Licensed Mental Health Professional. This is just my advice. I highly encourage professional help. I supply links through this post to professional help sites.* 

    Women carry many gifts, but the greatest gift of all, is feminine energy. Feminine energy exists as a balance of emotions, beauty and intelligence. For without this divine energy, the world would be in chaos more than it already is.

    Unfortunately, this energy can be syphoned from us. Whenever it be though bad spirits or by our own misguidance. Letting ourselves heal is the key into reclaiming our energy and living 

    Healing the Feminine Part 1: Identifying Soul Scars and Trauma Sources   

    It is easy to see a paper cut on your finger, put a Band-Aid on it, and in a week the cut is healed. With soul scars, you can’t see them, but you certainly can feel them. More often than not, they don’t heal. When it comes to abuse, domestic violence and sexual assault, it is clear to see the cause of soul scars. More often than not, a lot of woman keep these trauma sources to themselves, thinking burying the incident(s) deep in their minds will fix said issue. When in reality, burying only makes the scars deeper and deeper.

    There are some traumas that may go unrecognized, but still leave scars, nevertheless. For example, maybe you were bullied in school for your weight, your looks, the way you dress, the way you speak, your popularity, your interests, the list goes on.

    Let me give you an example, picture a girl in middle school. She is quite a bit bigger than the other girls. Often picked on for her size. She started to take an interest in boys. She was told that boys liked her, but they were too embarrassed to admit it.

    Let me go further, high school. That innate feeling boys only talked to her because they wanted that “one thing”. That big girls were “easy”. Spinning lies claiming they liked her and loved to her to get that “one thing”, and when she shared that “one thing”, they would ghost her. 

    So now, as a women, she can’t help but ask every man she dates, “So do you really like me or just want sex”. 

    That girl was me, and that woman is me. 

    Like a lot of women, I didn’t realize this scar was there and so deep until I started exploring myself. My feminine energy, of off my own misguidance, was syphoned from me from me. However, you must fall in order to rise, and when I was at my lowest, I decided I was going to reclaim it for my well-being. 

    Think of taking this vow “I am going to reclaim my feminine energy”, as Step Zero.

    Healing the Feminine Part 2: Preparing to Remove Soul Scars

    Think of this not as a physical surgery, but as a mental one. Here are a list of tools you need for this “procedure”.

    • Community
    • Hobbies/Interests
    • Journaling
    • Self-Love
    • Therapy (optional)
    • Spirituality (optional)

    Healing the Feminine Part 3: The “procedure” at work

    1. Step 1 (Community): Surround yourself with the people you enjoy, and the people who enjoy you back. If this be your family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, pets, it can be anybody who brings you comfort in life. Do not be afraid to go out into the world alone. Find activities to attend. Use sites like eventbrite.com to search for social activities in your area and attend them. Most likely, you will find new friends and acquaintances. Be social at your own pace. If you are like me and are shy by nature, take it slow and be your authentic self! 
    2. Step 2 (Hobbies/Interests): Take up some new hobbies, or revisit old ones you might have fallen off from. Having an outlet for enjoyment, or an outlet for hard times really is an expression of your emotions, beauty, and intelligence, all make up your feminine energy!
    3. Step 3 (Journaling): I put this separate from hobbies because while journaling can be a hobby. It certainly is for me. It can be used as a form of therapy. For reasons such as being unable to afford a therapist or not being comfortable talking to one. Your journal acts as your therapist, having a safe space with no judgment. An outlet for venting and communication. Look at the different ways of journaling. Traditional diary entries, junk journaling, bullet journaling, art journaling, even scrapbooking. Explore these methods and pick the one or ones that best aligns with your spirit!
    4. Step 4 (Self-Love): This might be the most important step, but having self-love is equal to feminine energy. You use it to “fill” the wounds of the soul scars after you have removed them. Realize that your love is the highest love. Explore yourself, know yourself, forgive yourself, accept yourself, work on yourself, heal yourself, and finally love yourself!
    5. Step 5 (Professional Therapy): I always highly encourage professional therapy! They are able to supply techniques that can aid in your self-healing. For finding affordable therapy, ask your job’s HR department if mental health benefits are offered. Ask your insurance provider the same. Look on the directory findtreatment.gov. Utilize apps like betterhelp.com for 24/7 aid. For becoming comfortable with therapist, again move at your own pace. Vet out providers that seem to offer what you need. If you feel uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to end contact. 
    6. Step 6 (Spirituality): I always highly encourage spirituality as well. However, this may look to you, organized religion, your own beliefs and practices, or a general sense of something greater. Having faith can bring a great pleasure and well-being to your life.

    Just remember, this takes time!

    Healing is never instant, believe me, I wish it were. This is a journey. May take months, years, decades, or lifelong. But do not let that discourage you. You just taking the vow “I am going to reclaim my feminine energy” already puts you ahead.

    We are all in this together, I am on my healing journey. We are all sisters, let’s be there for each other on this great path called life!

    . . .

  • Ain’t no ridin’ or dyin’! Stop breaking your back for a man!

    (Originally Posted On Opulence in the Divine)

    Coming from the former queen of people-pleasing, especially to men, here is a lesson on how to stop that shit. Sorry, but you will be hearing that word a lot this time.

    In my earlier post about femineity, I mentioned the trinity of factors that make up said energy. Emotions, beauty, and intelligence. Let me talk about emotions.

    Women are naturally empaths; we feel emotions and energy all around us. We strive to be nurturing to all. When others are happy, we are happy. We go out of our way to keep the environment happy. When others are sad, we are sad. We go out our way to make the sadness go away.

    Now let me talk about men for a second. Let me preface this with saying I like men; I like having relationships with men. I want to be married to a man one day. 

    But men can suck the everlasting shit out you!

    It is because of two factors which are both naturalistic and conditioned. Men are givers, they naturally create auras, or space of energy around them. Women are receivers, in turn, they naturally take in the energy that is around them. So, when a man creates peaceful space, there will be a peaceful woman. So, in turn, a man at war, a woman will pick up a weapon too. The masculine energy that men have, want the feminine energy that woman possess to either maintain a positive space, or uplift a negative space. Nothing wrong with that, its nature after all. When energies sync, it is a beautiful experience. 

    But, alas, humans do what humans do best…twist the truth! 

    Ephesians 5:22, “wives, submit yourselves unto your husband, as unto the lord”. While I love the Word, this infamous verse has set me and my sisters back for millennium. Submission is a funny topic, nothing wrong with a submitting as a woman. Hell, even I like to let a man lead. The gimme gotcha is if this submission is respected, appreciated, and adorned. As in the same chapter 3 verses down “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it”. 

    The second verse is often ignored.

    Other men often condition men to expect a woman to bend their backs to their needs. And women, more often than not are conditioned by other woman to believe this. “Sex is for men, not women. You need to be my/his ride or die, Do this for your man before someone else does”.

    Men unconsciously or deliberately syphon off woman’s feminine urge to be nurtures. 

    Now, here is what you can do to stop that shit dead in its tracks!

    1.     Set your Boundaries: Know yourself and your limits. Set your boundaries from the beginning. If you feel uncomfortable with something in dating or a relationship, speak up! Leave if this boundary keeps getting pushed and/or crossed.

    2.     Realize you are not Jesus, his Mama, or his Therapist: Yes, your man might be feeling sad, angry, depressed, mad at the world. Your natural feminine instincts will want to change that. However, my dear, don’t think you are his Savior, that Jesus’ job. Don’t think you need to baby him, that his Mama’s job. Lastly, realize that you can’t be his only emotional outlet, there are therapists paid for that job.

    3.     Make sure this a two-way street you two are both driving on: Is he there for you when you are in need? Does he make sure your satisfied? Do you feel like your love, caring and nurturing is respected, appreciated, and adorned. If not, it’s time to take a step back, take the rose-colored glasses off, and re-evaluate things. 

    I say all of this because I want better for us women. I want us to be freed from the shackles of conditioned submission and get back to basics. I hate the “gender wars”! They do nothing but divide and push us further. Misinformation, twisted truths and outright lies make the dating scene even more shittier than it already is. Men and women can learn from each other and grow together. As, a woman, I can speak from my own experiences and from what I have seen from others. I think, both men and women, have a duty to uplift each other. We are not on this journey of life alone!

    Thanks for reading! 

    (All of the Bible verses used are from the King James Version)

    . . .