I recently performed this poem at an open mic night. I honestly didn’t have an inkling of what I was going to perform until I saw the crowd, comprised mostly of teens. My inspiration for this poem comes from a Junji Ito story about a young boy whose pain became one with the house he lived in. I believe it was a part of his story collection ‘Lovesickness.’ More significantly, my own dealings with rumination, being a hopeless neurotic and all. Usually, I do not post on Wednesdays, but why not break rules, even if they are your own?

Rumination

Rumination involves repetitive thinking or dwelling on negative feelings and distress and their causes and consequences. Girls are more likely to ruminate than boys.

My room is an open source
To try and heal open sores
Licked on by dirty dogs
Boils like on frogs
To clean battle scars 
With tears in jars

I feel the safest in this place
I can hide the fear on my face
I do not have a diary
But I know my thoughts stay beside me

This is my therapy
For clarity, most of the time this is a rarity
Wishful thinking, how dare of me!

I sing wayward songs of female woes
Of my soul being exposed
Of snakes in the shadows
Of a heart and mind that come to blows

My room, where I practice rumination
Is a reflection, on my frustrations

Written on October 15th, 2023. Two days before my birthday.

-Sunshine

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